Psychologists assert that we use denial to avoid consciously experiencing our helplessness, meaninglessness and mortality. We wear lenses that blur our perception of vulnerability, providing us with the comforting illusion of control.

When events shatter a community’s protective lenses, many individuals experience the symptoms of “existential anxiety” and post-traumatic stress. Some of the current symptoms described in the media—such as nightmares and preoccupations involving airline hijackings or biological warfare—are obviously related to terrorism. Other symptoms—such as insomnia, fatigue, anxiety or depression, abuse of food, alcohol or drugs—have a less direct link. Yet others have more subtle connections: For example, in my work as a family therapist, I am seeing more signs of irritability and marital conflict.
How do we cope with our fears?

Rather than fearing our inability to control our lives, we can feel that there is a Divine power... Who acts with wisdom and caring

Judaism teaches that the source of this anxiety, the perception that ”no one is driving the bus,” is a mis-perception. There is “a Driver.” Rather than fearing our inability to control our lives, we can feel in our hearts that there is a Divine power that controls it all, Who acts with wisdom and caring, even though His actions may be beyond our ability to understand.
We live with a paradox; we have the responsibility to do everything in our power to take control of our lives, while at the same time G-d may decide on a totally different outcome.

Once an ambassador of a king stopped a Jewish peasant on the street. “Where are you going?” the ambassador asked. “I can’t tell you,” answered the peasant. Enraged by his answer, the ambassador brought him to the court, where he stood before the king. “Do you mean to mock me?” asked the king. “Not at all, sire,” he said, “We Jews believe G-d controls everything. Just this morning I thought I was heading to Warsaw, and look where I am now.”

We do not have time to take each other for granted, since none of us knows how long we will have each other

Can we benefit from anxiety?

In his widely acclaimed book, Man’s Search for Meaning, Dr. Viktor Frankl, a renowned psychotherapist who survived three years in Auschwitz, explained that every struggle is meaningful. He asserts that life is easier to bear when we find the meaning in our struggles.

One value of existential anxiety is that it can dramatically sharpen our appreciation of those we love. We can let go of the superficial irritations that distance us. We do not have time to take each other for granted, since none of us knows how long we will have each other.

Another value of existential anxiety is that it can motivate us to put more energy into reaching out to G-d. Each person has their own path, their “Mitzvah,” which can help them connect. It may be prayer, being present in the congregation, scholarly study, singing Chassidic melodies, charitable social action, teaching children, telling stories, even cooking for Shabbat. We can more readily understand G-d’s beneficence when we actively experience a relationship with Him.

Is our weakness a strength?

Life is fragile. However, our vulnerabilities can be transformed into strengths. Our fears of the unknown, rather than being something to be repressed and acted out in an unhealthy way, can be expressed to better our emotional and spiritual selves. The recent events can be used to motivate us to improve our relationships with others, and our collective awareness of the Divine.

Yes, there is a Driver, and He wants us to make the Journey meaningful and joyful.

Dr. Yisroel Susskind, Ph.D., Yale University, is a clinical psychologist and lecturer. He has written extensively for health professionals and laypersons. He welcomes your comments at eysusskind@aol.com