I sin... but it doesn't bother me...

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I sin... but it doesn't bother me...

by Rabbi Naftali Silberberg

The fact that you are asking this question shows that you do care. If you truly didn't care you wouldn't be interested in changing. The problem isn't that you don't care, what's going on bothers you very much. The problem is that you don't know how to conquer your (seemingly) very powerful Animal Soul. There is no easy trick how to win the battle with the Yetzer Hara. If there was one, everyone would be righteous. G-d didn't make it easy because He wanted us to earn our reward. To win the war it takes a strong determination and an absolute commitment to the path that you have chosen.

However, I do have two pieces of advice for you:

1. Get yourself a mentor. Someone spiritually inclined whom you respect and feel comfortable with. Even in the secular world there exists the concept of coaches/counselors. A person from the outside can, very often, see and solve problems which the person him/herself can't. This is because an outside person can look at things objectively, without involving emotions. As the Chassidic saying goes: When two Jews get together to discuss serving G-d, it is two G-dly souls over one Animal Soul... Also, if you know that there is someone who you have to report to occasionally, you will behave differently. It is embarrassing to come to someone (whom you respect) every week or two only to tell them that you have not improved, and have not implemented that which you discussed last time.

2. Learn Tanya ch. 18-24. You will gain tremendously from the wisdom in these chapters. (When you finish learning these chapters, you may continue...)

I'd like to end with a story. A Chassid once went into his Rebbe and complained that he doesn't have any fear of G-d. The Rebbe asked him "So, why is that bothering you?" The Chassid answered, "What do you mean? I'm a Jew!" The Rebbe smiled and said "If so, nisht geferlich (it's not so terrible), it is obvious that you do have the fear of G-d."

Related Categories

Philosophy
Philosophy » Soul
Philosophy » Character

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